It’s no secret; people often hide who they really are because they are afraid of revealing their true nature, or they don’t know how. Often this hiding-out is done on an unconscious level, because the corresponding fear-of-revealing evolved somewhere in early childhood, before we were able to make conscious decisions. Such fears are often buried so deeply that when they do reveal themselves to us (often in uncomfortable or challenging situations), it’s as if we’re helplessly watching ourselves in the reactive state, unable to intervene; unfortunately, what we see usually isn’t pretty.

Does your outside match your inside?

Perhaps your nature is compassionate, loving, and wise, and you want to express it, but find yourself shielding yourself, unable to express your true self because you’re afraid of being hurt or appearing weak; That’s being hard on the outside and soft on the inside, much like an egg, the shell protecting the riches inside.

On the other hand, perhaps you cultivate the social role of a compassionate, loving, wise person, but when the moment comes to truly express this side of yourself, you go into instantaneous protective judgement and criticism (of yourself or of someone else). That’s being soft outside and hard inside, somewhat like a peach, with its jagged internal seed-cover that protects its kernel of true growth.

I believe there are many of us who strive everyday to reveal our true, loving, compassionate, forgiving natures. What is it, then, that holds us back when, in a given instant, the scared, protective side of us takes over?

What would it take to soften our hard exterior shell, or to dissolve the jagged seed-cover of fear inside us? According to many schools of psychology, we create these fears because we are trying to protect that which does not really need protecting—our ego.

What part of our ego needs protecting? I believe, as do others, that it’s the child within us. As adults, not many of us would choose to hold onto old unconscious identifiers and triggers of trauma. However, these hindrances to spiritual wholeness have a way of manifesting at just the (wrong) right moment—just when we think we can be the loving compassionate person we aspire to be, or know ourselves to be, wham! we’re revealed to ourselves by our actions, words, or thoughts, as an egg or a peach.

Perhaps your way of dealing with life’s difficulties is something you picked up from someone else’s idea of the world. Perhaps it’s based on a decision about yourself arrived at in circumstances that you decided (or were made to feel) were your fault . Perhaps your life or family situation has typecast you in a certain role or attitude that you’ve been unable to break out of.

In the field of NeuroLinguistic Programming (NLP), the presupposition is that all of us try to make the best choices available to us at any given moment. These choices, however, can affect us and others for years to come, especially if others disagree with them, or if they get us into trouble on any level (including ourselves), and create the need to protect and defend them. We then find ourselves (again, either consciously or unconsciously) judging, feeling guilty, or blaming ourselves or others.

I once attended a talk on compassion by HH the Dalai Lama at Stanford university. During the question-and-answer segment following the talk, the moderator read out loud pre-selected questions submitted by the students. One particular question had to do with helping, i.e., how does one know when to help and to what extent?

The Dalai Lama patiently and graciously answered to the effect that one does what one can when one can. He then commented gently that that particular question revealed the level of the person asking as not very high in understanding on the subject of compassionate generosity.

The moderator responded quickly and somewhat defensively that he didn’t write the questions. At that moment a golden teaching opportunity revealed itself; the Dalai Lama replied laughingly to the moderator: “Oh, look, you are protecting yourself.”

The moderator, apparently feeling the need to defend himself from the perceived accusation of low understanding, ironically didn’t understand at that moment that he was, indeed, protecting his ego, and hastily went on to read the next question. By doing so, he missed the amazing opportunity to ask the Dalai Lama to explain and explore the false perception of self that generated the ego-driven unconscious response, and to help him and everyone there to understand it better.

We have all been there in the moderator’s shoes, busted for ego-protecting behavior. Of course, that was a particularly tough situation for him—who would want to explore and learn about one’s ego-weakness in front of thousands of people? Believe me, though, a similar (though perhaps not so public and exalted) chance would have presented itself again to him the next day, or, the day or week or month after that, until it couldn’t be ignored.

What would we have done in his shoes? What did we do the last time such a learning situation presented itself to us? Did we muster our outer or inner defenses, or choose to really listen and explore? It’s a characteristic of this unnecessary protective behavior that it reveals itself at the most opportune times for learning, which in the ego’s view are the most inopportune times for getting busted.

In this case, whether you are an egg or a peach, the ego is really trying to help you. Can you learn to see your opportunities to penetrate to your vital core, or to crack the hard shell that is truly preventing you from revealing your true soft, loving, compassionate, wise nature? Can you bravely decide to learn from each of these opportunities?

Egg, peach, or your true open self? The choice is ultimately yours.

Blessings ~ Melinda

One powerful way to do this is to cultivate the habit of looking at everything as a blessing. You don’t need to be a Pollyanna to evoke within yourself a quiet attitude of appreciation and thanks for blessings great and small. These can include the food you eat, the car you drive (so what if you think it’s a clunker; it’s a valuable tool), as well as friends and neighbors who help and support and share.

How does the acknowledging of blessings, given and received, convert to healing? When you take the time, for instance, to bless your food and truly offer up gratitude for what you’re eating, you’re: 1) releasing (in the act of gratitude) positive chemicals into your system, 2) Making it more likely that you’ll slow down and enjoy the meal in a conscious way that improves digestion, and 3) raising your awareness of those who have less, thus extending your thoughts to the sustaining web of human relationship.

TRY THESE FIVE SUGGESTED STEPS

STEP I: Think of realistic ways that you can bless, celebrate and help others who have the courage to walk this earth in what appears to be poverty, hunger, and despair. You can choose to support them on a spiritual level, through prayer, empathy and awareness, while also doing whatever you can (through contributions, volunteer work,
consciousness-raising of others) to help alleviate their physical suffering.

If your own physical, emotional and/or financial resources are limited, think of what you can reasonably contribute without harm to your own healing process; prayers and courtesy to others, even a decision to smile at everyone you meet, are great gifts, as meaningful in their realm as huge fundraisers or accumulated volunteer hours.

And please remember that it’s not necessary (and is actually counterproductive) to work yourself up into guilt for what you have that others don’t, or for things you tell yourself you should be doing to help in the world, but can’t seem to manage. Know that any movement toward the light counts, that no blessing is too small to make a difference, and that all is well no matter what. Don’t stumble into the traps of fear, anger, disappointment, frustration or sadness.

STEP II: Many people find themselves falling into a state of hopelessness in light of world events as presented by the media today. Begin thinking about what you allow into your mind in the same way that you consider what foods and medicines you allow into your body.

Dr. Christiane Northrup, co-founder of the Women to Women Clinic in Maine, often recommends that her patients go on a “news fast,” especially those with addictions to TV newscasts and newspapers. She wisely observes: “The human psyche was never intended to absorb the toxic news of the entire planet, either as a continuous stream or in a single concentrated gulp each day.”

Try turning off your TV news and forgoing newspapers for an entire week. You’ll probably discover during this time that if anything really important happens, you’ll be informed about it by other people (who thus function as a “filter” that screens out all but the most relevant information and ideas worth discussing). This is not just an exercise in self-denial, but another way of removing obstacles to your healing.

News “reporting” today, though it supposedly deals with facts, is primarily based on arousing fear and anxiety. Each report has the ratings-fueled goal of arousing those primitive survival reactions that will produce the adrenaline rush that many news consumers crave. These tactics will in turn arouse your “flight or fright” reflexes, which send (in)appropriate chemicals flooding through your body, even as you sit passively.

TV news especially, is the manifestation of the FEAR acronym: False Evidence Appearing Real (remember the “Weapons of Mass Destruction?”), while much of feature reporting has devolved into “junk news” and celebrity gossip.

STEP III: Assess how your worldview changes as a result of your “news fast.” Note and keep track of your physical and emotional changes as well. By living more in the world of the here and now, we can reduce toxic physical reactions based on false fears, and open ourselves up to hope and optimism based on actual interactions with the world.

STEP IV: What kinds of actions you can realistically undertake to bring hope into your heart and to the hearts of others. Look for the positive aspects of your immediate world, which are likely to be much greater in proportion to negative actions than the news channels would have us think. Know that it is not being unrealistic to perceive positivity and gratitude as permanent traits rather than as temporary states of mind.

Studies have shown that optimism has a very positive impact on people with compromised health. Ultimately, the path to healing is an old and well-worn but true one: to receive and perceive everything that happens to us as a learning experience that, if received in a welcoming and allowing spirit, can inspire creative and positive thoughts, words and actions.

Encourage yourself and others with words and actions that bring you hope. To quote the great yogi Swami Satchidananda: “We can’t stop the waves, but we can learn to surf.”

STEP V: At least once each day, look at and examine what is working in yourself and your life, and begin to feel gratitude for whatever that may be right now. Even a few seconds of this practice sets the tone for the day and for your self-healing.

The act of looking at ourselves, our environment, our work situation, or any part of our lives with gratitude opens the doorway to a whole new level of awareness of what is available to us right now. It is my belief that we are here to live, love, laugh and grow; as we grow, we begin to remember who we really are; eminently powerful light beings having the luxury of a human experience. This is indeed worth celebrating!

The continual practice of the steps and principles mentioned in this article will continue to help you open your mind and heart, dissolve and release obstacles to healing, and create for yourself the vital health and well-being that you seek.

With love and blessings,

~ Melinda

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All life is composed of energy. As human beings, we view and experience people and things as both energy and matter. Objects (such as tables and chairs) that we tend to categorize as physical matter because they appear solid to us, are really energy, in the form of stable patterns of molecules moving within a given space.

Our bodies are also composed of energy, though many people experience this bodily pattern as just another form of matter. Our thoughts are composed of energy as well, and it is very important to know that thought-energy can affect your bodily energy in various ways.

Your thoughts about yourself or others can affect not only you (and your body and emotions), but also those around you. When we are cheerful, for instance, our “cheer” infuses our bodies, our space, and those around us who are open to it. If we disapprove of someone, on the other hand, we can make that person aware of it without saying a word.

In other words, whenever we are in the same energy field as another being, whether human, animal, or spirit, an actual biophysical change takes place in each party involved, even in the most casual of encounters.

For example: we’re out walking on a country path, and we see someone approaching from the other direction. Immediately a constellation of chemical/emotional changes begins to register in our body/mind, some at the almost primal level of our autonomic nervous systems: is this person someone I know? (curiosity/identification) If so, do I like him/her? If not, is this person a danger to me? (fear or nervousness) How do I look to this person? (vanity/self-assessment) Should I greet him/her as we pass, conveying friendliness, or should I stare straight ahead because a stranger might also be a weirdo? Am I in danger? (Flight or fight response is keyed.) Even this simple contact with another being triggers multiple reactions and body/mind behaviors.

Each interaction, then, that we have with another being is a choice and an opportunity: how do I use my thought-energy in this situation? What behavior or words on my part will make the difference between creating a positive or negative experience here and now?

The first skill to acquire is that of remembering the inevitable nature of biochemical emotion-storms like the one described above, which often occur at or just below the level of conscious thinking; these are triggered to some extent in every interaction between sentient beings, and are common to us all, including animals (ever try to make friends with a shy cat?).

The art of choosing positive thought-energy in these moments is, for most people, an acquired skill. It’s much easier just to go with our emotions at the time, whatever the consequences. When we are aware of the energetic complexity of each interaction, however, we become better at assessing them individually. Sometimes we’re forewarned, as when we know a certain person always makes us smile or that another invariably annoys us or tries to “push our buttons.” But at other times we just have to open to all the possibilities of the unexpected.

Here’s a good technique to help you through the initial stages of any interaction: when encountering another being, get in the habit of asking your conscious mind to access both your unconscious and your superconscious mind (that which knows deeply and is in touch with the All), opening the door to all possibilities of awareness.

This is like taking a clearing breath that helps us to assess our “gut reaction,” while liberating our mind from thoughts of constriction, restriction and resistance. We start allowing for the immediate acceptance of what is. This purposeful moment of self-assessment also permits ourselves to realize our own inner beauty and grace, so that we can consciously choose to raise the energy level in the situation through kindness, patience, listening, encouragement, and understanding, rather than bringing it down by meeting anger with anger, or by inflicting our own bad mood, doubts, annoyance or pain on others.

Every time you pause to access (or at first perhaps just acknowledge) your connection to the All, your ability to do so deepens and strengthens, and making the choice to create positive interaction becomes more and more natural. As the overall nature of these interactions improves, the positive will begin to arise spontaneously in other areas of your life. Try it and see.

Thoughts are indeed energy; use them wisely.

Closing your eyes (if you like) to help yourself visualize, ask yourself where pain is located in your system. Listen to what your body is telling you.

What does this discomfort look like? (It may manifest in your mind as a shape, a color, sound, a human or animal image, etc.) Imagine yourself pulling this image of your discomfort from your mind, and laying it down on an altar of truth in front of you.

As you look at this image, acknowledge it, dialogue with it and help it transform into love, in whatever form that may take (white light, hearts, butterflies, a color, etc.) and send it back to the magnificent All transformed into that version of love.

What is the overall emotion you are feeling now? Is it the same as before?

Example of a Dialogue With Your Body:

Ask yourself: Where is the discomfort located?

Answer: In my neck.

Q. What does this discomfort look like?

A. It looks like a black box.

(Visualize pulling the black box out of yourself and laying it down on an altar of truth in front of you.)

Q. As you look at it, what is inside of this black box?

A. Some tightly stretched rubber bands, and they are almost to the breaking point.

Q. What is the overall emotion you are feeling now? Is it anger? Fear? Frustration? Greed for Material Things? Greed for Knowledge? Grief? Indecision?

A. Frustration.

Q. What does frustration mean to you?

A. It means I am wound too tightly right now.

Q. What is frustration allowing you to have or be?

A. It is allowing me to feel confused and not have to act on my intentions.

Q. What is the positive intention behind confusion?

A. Confusion means that I need to take a brief rest from what I am doing right now.

Q. When you take a rest, what does that allow you to have or be?

A. It allows me to relax.

Q. What does relaxing allow you to have or be?

A. It allows me to trust in knowing that my project will be completed to the best of my abilities, and on time.

Q. So the initial frustration was creating a pathway to remind you to trust?

A. Yes!

Create a symbol (color, sound or object) that represents trust and offer it to yourself (and your aching neck) with love. See yourself filled with the feeling this symbol represents.

Thank yourself for be willing and open to trying this exercise.

Well Done!

Once a particular non-beneficial unconscious pathway is revealed to the conscious mind, its tension will usually begin to release of its own accord.

You may also do this exercise by checking in with your organs, glands, bones and joints.

Is there an emotion attached to an imbalance that you’re feeling? Ask your system what it is. What does that particular emotion mean to you or allow you to be or have? Continue asking the questions until you get to the deepest answer that represents something positive for you.

Blessings ~ Melinda

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To know that there is supportive help available on every step of your healing journey makes your faith in your healing process, and those of whom you are witnessing in their healing process, easier. We learn to let go and know that all is well and everything is as it should be at this very moment. This loving supportive energy is readily available from your own innate healing wisdom and the wise and loving beings and events, both physical and spiritual that surround you.

When you allow yourself to open your heart and recognize this, you will feel more empowered to continue when you bump up against something that may be very deep and painful for you at the moment. Although this openness to healing wisdom is simple, we can sometimes tend to make it complicated. Discovering the causes of resistance merely takes perseverance and faith in the deep knowing that all is well and that you are already well.

This heart-opening self-healing journey can take you to places within yourself that you have been afraid to look at. As you follow this path, you begin to have more compassion for those parts of yourself that are scared, angry and disappointed, at the same time liberating your mind of thoughts of constriction, restriction and resistance.

Above all, you learn to trust your Spirit, allowing yourself to experience that deep gratitude and the joyous acceptance of the miracle of what is called “You.”

“I am restored in beauty.” —Navajo Prayer

“The creative is the place where no one else has ever been.  You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition.  What you’ll discover will be wonderful.  What you’ll discover is yourself.”  -Alan Alda

To view his speech in its entirety visit  http://www.conncoll.edu/events/speeches/alda.html