Do you ever have the feeling that you’re everyone else but yourselg? That your empathic nature is spinning out of your control? How does this happen?

 

You may ask: “Who am I if not the collective idea of who I should be, or who I think I should be?” All of these self-judgments can sometimes seem like a pinball bouncing wildly from one belief to another. It feels as if we’ve learned to judge ourselves so harshly that there is hardly any room to actually just be.

I sometimes have to ask myself the question:

Do others think I’m too sensitive? A few do, I suppose. Do I care how they feel about me? Sometimes, but it’s mostly when I’m out of balance and my sense of “who I really am” begins to blur. When you’re out of balance, it’s often a struggle to keep it together. You may often get told that you’re too sensitive, or too “self-indulgent” in your sensitivity.

When you recognize and name memory-generated patterns, thoughts and activities, they begin to lose their power.

To all those who find yourself in this state: I know how you feel, and there is hope, a light that shines through.

 

It helps to remember that reactions to judgments (and the judgments themselves) come from memories, experiences that existed and were created as a safeguard outside of our true nature. When you recognize and name memory-generated patterns, thoughts and activities, they begin to lose their power. In my case, since I’m a strong empath, I can feel pretty much everything, and yes, I am sensitive. Sometimes my psychic and mental filters can only handle so much at a time. It’s then that I have to go into retreat mode and cleanse my spirit through meditation, reflection, and communion with Source. There is something to be said about the memories we play of separation, of the longing to be close, of hoping to feel good again. For me, it is also memories of the collective. I have taken to dowsing my safe times at the grocery, home improvement, or big box stores. I must set a time for myself as if entering one of the vortexes in Sedona, Arizona. What is my safe time? How long can I shop around before I begin to spin out, feeling the confusion, anxiety, pain, depression, and anger of those around me, or of the space itself?

It’s of immeasurable value to remember that underlying all of those memory-constructed beliefs is the peace and clarity of our true nature and its connection to Source.

But, what happens if, in spite of our best efforts, we do seemingly fall apart? Or overstay our safe time?

 

What would happen if we let go? Who would we be if we let go of the handrails (the beliefs we and everyone hold so tightly about whom we’re supposed to be)? What if there were no boundaries—for which you’ve been fighting so hard all your life—of feeling and knowing when you’re safe? An empath’s greatest fear, aside from feeling everyone else’s fear, is of not feeling safe or connected to Source. It’s of immeasurable value to remember that underlying all of those memory-constructed beliefs is the peace and clarity of our true nature and its connection to Source. When you realize this, letting go can be an enormous relief, as you paradoxically fall into a state of greater balance. It can be a valuable practice to seek connection to Source through those around us, reflections helping to heal each others’ misconceptions. This can only be done, however, when we are willing to do our own “homework.” We cannot just dump our pain onto others because of misunderstandings and of others’ judgments of our choices.

 

Witnessing the ‘me’ who is in the moment keeps me interested in continuing to seek out the Source within.

So how do I know when I am being me? How does it feel to be me?

 

When I’m my authentic self, I smile inside; nothing bothers me; I’m not wound up so tightly, or stretched so thin. I don’t feel the need to assert my being-ness; I just am. I’m relaxed with what is. There is a sense of inner peace. No need to mask or cover up. I receive powerful, peaceful downloads to my intuition, filled with helpful sensory information that I can use and share. Witnessing the ‘me’ who is in the moment keeps me interested in continuing to seek out the Source within. Through my own explorations of self/no-self, I can aspire to the absolute recognition of no separation, which is known as pure love. I feel like me when I can recognize my identity as a spark of light currently living in a form that happens to feel pain and suffering, which is also about learning and asking for the cleanest and least painful way out of whatever it is I am experiencing. I can also know that these feelings are caused by the many different ideas that are held in my body, caught in the prison of memories, as opposed to floating free in the sensation of oneness. I return to myself when I realize that I’m really just a functioning human being who happens to be highly attuned to all that surrounds me. I begin to watch my thoughts more carefully; what am I receiving and what am I giving? Who and what am I responsible for?

You are a beautiful warrior knowing that what you need to assist you on your journey will be there for you.

Am I overly sensitive?

 

No. I’m just as sensitive as I need to be in order to grow and be of service to those who seek support. My sensitivity supports the deep dive, the listening to Spirit and transmitting the information I receive. It supports my work in offering release of subconscious, non-beneficial energies in the form of stuck-ness: such as non-beneficial memories causing depression, traumas and self-judgments. Seeking connection to Source I believe in you. I trust your instincts. You are a beautiful warrior knowing that what you need to assist you on your journey will be there for you. After all, we’ve all been there before and walked on and through what has appeared to be the darkest nights. And we’re still here.

A few suggestions on thriving as an empath:

Dowse

If you are a dowser, you have a powerful tool to dowse your way back to inner balance. If not, you can experiment with how your feelings manifest in your body, follow your intuition, and breathe into those feelings to affect a sigh of physical release.

Explore and discover

We all need an outside perspective sometimes. Seek assistance from someone who you know who has the ability to help you clean off the negative energy that you are unable to transmute by yourself, and the wisdom to help you understand why you pick it up. (With my clients, I sometimes see this as the “Pigpen” Character in Charles Schultz’s Peanuts comics. A cloud of “dust” goes with them wherever they go.) Find someone with whom you can safely explore/release the deeper implications of your subconscious judgments.

Outside Perspective

Dowse or feel your safe time: how long and when you feel safe in certain situations, such as being in the midst of challenging group environments, or alone for long periods, or just on the telephone with someone. Learn to replicate that feeling of safety and use it as a tool to meet similar challenges. If you’ve overstayed your safe time, acknowledge that. Breathe through it and lean into it. Let go of the handrails. We are only asked to try.

Prearranged Signals

Think about prearranging a signal with your closest person/loved one for moments when things get overwhelming, before you start your snapping-turtle routine. Put your watch on the other wrist, or decide on a hand signal (play nice, no birds haha) that lets your partner or friend know that you are processing as fast as possible and may need to be quiet for a little while.

Routine

Start your day with a morning routine of doing something physical—a swim, t’ai chi, Qigong, a walk… something to get the physical body moving and the calming endorphins flowing.

We are all seeking connection to Source in our own way. Some are more aware than others; nevertheless, we can all rest assured that growth is happening.

If you feel you need assistance, I’m here. I believe in you. I trust your instincts. You are a courageous warrior, knowing that what you need to assist you on your journey will be there for you. Let go of the handrails. You won’t fall.

Love and Many Blessings ~ Melinda